A Scandalous Affair

"You fight each other, who fights them?"

"Fornicating with your own husband is so old-fashioned... Alleken, seriously, I was expecting so much more from you!"

Coming from someone who loves her husband so much that she is preparing to give birth to their seventh child while trying to decide on the perfect necklace to wear to the Christmas dinner(confinement has never been something my sister-in-law was going to go along with willingly), I find it a little hard to believe that Agnes isn't making fun of me.

"You do realize that you're married to my brother, right? And unless you have some kind of revealing news about this little one here..." As if anyone could have any kind of doubts regarding my brother's children, with them all taking after one parent or another like little mirror images. To put it in Agnes' words, they are boringly in love and hopelessly faithful to each other. But my sister-in-law is a Duchess and a King's daughter, so she can afford to banter like that. Me on the other side, already with a child born on the wrong side of the blanket... well, that's a story for another time. Though things do seem to be changing. Not necessarily in good, but there is a change and I'm no longer feeling as smothered by the consequences of my misconduct.

It still feels good to be able to tease each other like that. For so many years I've been so isolated, without even realizing it. First as a young student too absorbed by childish dreams, then as a young wife overwhelmed by sudden responsibilities and in the end as a shamed woman, trying to deal with everyone's judgment. Agnes might still be a bit too ambitious for her own good and maybe sometimes cruel in her way of seeing the world (she is still her father's daughter and she has spent most of her childhood and a good part of her youth following her father's ambitions on the battlefield, trying to discreetly fill her brother's position), but she welcomed me when I was nothing but a disgrace upon her household and she trusted me enough to become my friend.

"Well, you do know that your marriage was never annulled, right? There was not enough ground for an annulment to be granted. You two were both obviously alive and well and your marriage was obviously consummated, with 4 living children to attests to that." My friends' tireless persistence never ceases to amaze me. But I am curious enough to see where she is going with this, so I withhold my comments and let her continue. "You are still his wife and mother of his children and they never managed to persuade you to take the veil so legally you are the lady of his household. Now, pray tell me, dear Alleken... why do you two insist on this whole charade? Don't get the wrong impression, I'm all for a little bit of foolery, but still. Pretending to live in sin with your own husband doesn't really suit you two. Especially when none of you has anything to benefit from it. You especially. Unless... Alleken, is he forcing himself on you? Or is he blackmailing you in any way?"

I find my friend's concern for me endearing, really. In the end, Agnes does have a kind heart. Even if she hides it behind snarky comments and sarcastic remarks most of the times.

"Oh, please, you know I would never allow something like that. And I don't think Gregory would be the man to try it.  He didn't to it 10 years ago, when he really had every legal right to, so I don't see why you would think of such a thing! He's been very thoughtful and gentle ever since he recovered his health."

And I'm foolish enough to walk right into her trap. Really, I should have expected that from her. She knows me too well.

"Dear Lord, Alleken! You're in love with your husband!"

I can see clearly she's trying to feign indignation by the subtle curve of her lips.