sâmbătă, 26 octombrie 2019

Nostalgia

“The gods envy us. They envy us because we’re mortal, because any moment may be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again.”

Even with my concession and Gregory's eagerness to leave the Court as soon as possible, my husband is still part of the Royal Council and a trusted advisor to the Old King, so our departure is delayed by a fortnight. We manage to leave yet again ahead of our belongings, no servants with us, just my Charlotte, the morning the Crown Princess' confinement begins. With the coming Christmas celebrations and the preparations for a royal birth, we almost slip unnoticed, riding into the crisp morning frost. My hands are freezing, even into the thick gloves that I'm wearing, yet my heart is thrumming in my chest and my cheeks are burning with emotion at reuniting with my child.
in the past months since our reconciliation Gregory and I haven't talked much about our children, too captivated by each other. Enchanted by these new persons that we took too long to discover, selfishness and arrogance weren't simply young people's inclinations.

The whole ride lasts us 7 days, while the nights are spent under false names in inns, acting more like young lovers than a viscount and his wife. We aren't exactly careful about our identities nor are we gifted performers, so the innkeeper and his woman probably think us a nobleman hiding his mistress and child from a jealous wife. An aristocrat in love with his spouse sounds more outrageous than a lord with a thousand mistresses.


We arive at Riverswood late in the evening and we are met with the whole flurry of a country estate. Dogs barking, children running in the frozen mud and servants hurrying to see the catalyst of the entire commotion. Somewhere in the back of the estate, there's even the sound of sheep and through all the amusement, I can't help but wonder if Gregory too is reminded of growing up on his father's farm. It certainly awakens long forgotten memories to me.
Our daughter and her husband await for us by the massive entrance of the old castle - it's an ancient one and it's probably been in the family for at least a century - and among the first things that I notice about the two of them is the fact that he's got my Rosalie's hands tightly between his, warming them and trying to fend her from the cold.

My daughter is pink in the cheeks and smiling and the moment she sees me she flings herself into my arms. Last time she did that she couldn't have been older than my Charlotte and that acknowledgement, along with the warm welcome, leaves my eyes a bit wet. She's swathed in wool trimmed with furs and though her clothes don't look expensive, it suits her. She is heavy with child, the curve of her belly visible under her cloak and when she hugs me, we both laugh like two young girls.

By the time we followed our husbands inside, we’ve realized we've barely exchanged a couple of words between hugging and giggling. And crying, for my Rosalie's cheeks are wet and my eyes are probably glistening too with unshed tears.
Introductions are made in a hurry and I get to hug and kiss my son-in-law, the Baron of Leicester*. The name awakens an old pang in my heart, as do the Baron's steel grey eyes. But those eyes aren't framed by dark circles and though they're the same shade of grey, the young Baron's are warm and kind. They might be sharing the same blood, but this Baron has almost nothing in common with his father. I even doubt he recalls his father's name. Most people certainly can't. Even whispering the name has been forbidden ever since the end of the War of Broken Trust. But that's a story for another time, as I can't help but notice that some wounds run deep and some sorrows never wither.

It's warm inside the castle and the atmosphere is almost domestic, so much unlike the formal and stiff protocol at the Royal Court. I hadn’t even realized how much I'd missed the family life until I saw Charlotte almost asleep in Gregory's arms, he and our daughter's husband discussing our sleeping arrangements.



* Name sounds familiar? That's because the Leicester family first appeared into the story back in Chapter III Too stubborn to admit it. Back then Alleken was summoned by the King's brother (father of the current Baron on Leicester) to save his children from the flu. Alleken actually saved her future son-in-law's life. Not long after that, the King and his brother went to war with each other and the kingdom was forced to pick a side. Alleken picked the King's brother (the late Marquess of Leicester) whom she also fell in love with. The late Marquess is also Charlotte's father (no one besides Alleken knows that). After losing the war, the Marquess was executed for treason and his children were stripped of their titles and inheritance. A while ago, the current Baron of Leicester was offered back a noble title and a country estate after swearing fealty to the Old King Geoffrey Lancaster. A lot of this was orchestrated by Gregory who wanted to arrange a marriage for his daughter, while also making sure to bring to a stop any possible plot to overthrow the King.

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